That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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