Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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