if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
