Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
