I'm gonna have a badass scar
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
