Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
