I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The beer is more important than you right now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
