The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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