Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
