i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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