Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
