He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
