is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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