just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
