Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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