Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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