I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
