their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
