dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
where am i from again
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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