i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
