Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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