im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
