Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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