I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
