I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
