Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
