My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize