Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
