dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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