I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
