thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
