If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
