i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
