My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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