she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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