he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
