found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
