Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
