He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
