hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
