I like my sex mixed with concussions.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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