what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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