I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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