Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Randomize
