Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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