My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
