I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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