Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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