Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
