Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
