Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
