Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
