I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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