Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
