so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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