Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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