I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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