i don't like sucking hair
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
